Grocery Store Horror Story

This past week I made the worst choice of my life. MY LIFE. 

I went to the grocery store with all four kids. 

It was partly out of need but mostly it was a rash decision based on my loneliness- I couldn't stand being home for one more minute. I have so much anxiety right now being in there with all four kids... BUT the problem was that anywhere I could have gone would have meant driving home in rush hour traffic with the added bonus of construction and a newborn and toddler who hate being in the car. So the grocery store was the best that I could come up with. 

But I'm a fool! At first I had two carts- I pushed the big one that was filled with a car seat and Rose. June pushed a tiny kid cart and Hazel sat in that.

And let's just talk about how I had squeezed into some shorts that didn't really fit so while I drove there I had unbuttoned them for comfort. And you can see where this is going... of course I forgot to button them up again so I spent a good ten minutes roaming the produce while my shorts were not only unbuttoned but also incredibly unzipped- and fulled exposed by my shirt that was stuck up above it. So how many people got to witness that? I shudder to think. 

So after I, ahem, fixed that, I raged through the store aisles throwing in pretzels, animal cookies, and cereal- anything that looked like it would make them quiet and happy at home. All the while chanting,  "Stop running with the cart June!" "Rose, sit down! Do you want a sucker? Money? A CAR?!" "No shhhh, Johnny, you're okay, please take this pacifier!" "Hazel! Don't throw things!" "No, you can't put five cartons of ice cream in the cart!"

Johnny's cries grew louder as I dragged the cart along, my hand in his car seat trying to calm him down. But it was no use... we had too far to go still and he was so mad. So I got him out. June took over pushing my cart and Hazel got out and pushed the tiny one. So now kids are all over as I'm bouncing a mad newborn in my arms while a small army of shopping carts circled me.

Up ahead I saw the Halloween section, tucked nicely away in the back quiet corner of the store. It's there I sought refuge. Among the pails of pumpkins, bags of candy, and cheaply made costumes, I found large rack of those costumes and sat down with the fabric somewhat hiding me and I proceeded to nurse Johnny. And no, I didn't have a nursing cover with me. It was going okay, the girls were thrilled to find light up skeletons and masks to play with. But as Johnny gulped up his milk some kids came down our quiet path WITH their DAD, of course. I tried to hid my exposed self behind the Iron Man, the hulk and the witch. And they stayed there forever and didn't even take anything to buy. THANK YOU.

And by the time I was done and we were heading to the check out I had let the girls pick out a treat for “being good” about 18 times, forgetting each time that I had already let them. We looked dire enough that a few people came over and offered to help me, bless them. And as I was leaving and the cashier asked robotically “Would you like any help out today?” I held back my sarcastic, “What do YOU think, idiot?” And instead politely replied “Yes, please.” 

 

And now I know, you know? Next time I'm desperate to leave the house, I think I'd first go to the dentist before going back there again.... with all of them. I've learned my lesson and from here on out and I will be diligent in ordering my groceries online in time to actually do the pick up instead.

I know other people have worse horror stories than me about going out with all their kids- share one if you've got it! We're all in this mess together! 💪