Mini Adventure Dates

Last weekend while my sister was here Buck and I got to go to church together, just the two of us. Well, just to the first part anyway, I had to go home and feed Hazel. But before we went home we left church a little early (judge not) and went to the lake for a breather. I keep wanting to go because I find myself being ever pulled into nature and quiet places of the earth. So, it was like a little heavenly date.

 On the way back I noticed a random pirate ship off in the distance in a field.

 

So we went home and I fed Hazel and then Erin and Dan said we cold go adventure to the ship and leave the girls behind again. And so that's what we did!

We ended up going on quite the little nature walk and found all sorts of odd things back in that area and we even had to cross a river on a log. haha. So hard core.

Then this weekend my cousin Molly came to visit and she told Buck and me to go get some ice cream or something. We are surrounded by awesome people! So we went to this place near by that has snow cones year round (score!) and Buck got an ice cream cookie sandwich. We sat on the couch there and cuddled and had a good talk about how we have changed and where we hope to go as a couple and best friends. It was much needed.

So yeah! I'm so grateful for the chances we had to go on some little dates this month- a month that would have seemed impossible to get a date in otherwise (you know, with a new baby and all.) Hooray!

One Month

Happy one month to Hazel! It's pretty crazy that she's 1 month old, but at the same time with all the long nights of not sleeping I feel like one month has been well earned and worked hard for. Some nights it feels like it's been a year and during the day it feels like it's the middle of the night and all the while I'm functioning at a level of dazed and confused splendor. Yet compared to when June was born, I am doing a whole lot better this time around. I'm calmer and more aware of myself.

One thing that is different is that I promised myself this time I would take things slow and allow myself to heal and to be in the moment with the baby.  This has been easier to do since it's the gross-end-of-winter weather outside and it's RSV season so we've had to keep Hazel at home so she doesn't get sick. But June was born in July and two weeks after I was on a jet ski and then another two weeks after I was riding roller coasters. And that whole time I was also a weepy and emotional mess of a woman- I should have relaxed!

So here I sit day after day. I've been jealous of other country's traditions of keeping the mom and baby resting together for 40 days, whereas I used to find that cruel. But this time I wanted that. I wanted the women around me to gather and help; let me heal and bond with my newborn. I've been angry at my society that it doesn't support such a way of life anymore. But then I had my baby and I was reminded that my friends and family are in my life for a reason- because they don't listen to our society either- and they have been beyond helpful and loving! I have been overwhelmed by their (your) help.

We had visits in the hospital and food and treats brought. We have had dinners given to us and gifts. My friends and family have taken June for whole days at a time (for my sanity AND for hers.) Our immediate family members traveled from Idaho and from the east coast to come show their love for Hazel and us.

My mom and dad came that first weekend we were home and then my mom stayed a whole week. She gave so much time to June, playing outside, having a picnic, taking her to her little friends birthday party, reading her books, helping with naps and baths, and doing puzzles. Then she cleaned the house, did all dishes and laundry, made us dinner every night, stocked our kitchen with groceries, ran my errands, checked off lists and let me nap and rest. Buck's parents were here for a weekend along with his sister and they took June swimming, fed us healthy food, held baby Hazel a lot, and then left us with a ton of diapers. Then this past weekend my sister and her husband came from DC and took June to (finally) ride the ponies and spent time here with us. 

And the result is that these past four weeks I have been able to take it all in and be still. Maybe I seem crazy to those who love to be on the go, and trust me, I also love to get out of the house as well, but this has been just what we needed. So thank you to everyone who has made it possible so far!

And you guys, Buck helps so much. His evenings must be hard. He drives an hour in traffic to come home and then goes right into play time with June and then into a night of holding and soothing Hazel. He stays up a lot to help and never leaves me on my own in the dark hours of the night. 

Don't get me wrong, I've had some tough moments but I try and remind myself that it's just that- a moment. It too will pass and we will survive. And before you know it, it will be summer and WARM outside and I'll be towing TWO girls around with me as we go on our adventures again. 

So now for some photos. I have done a HORRIBLE job taking photos with anything but my phone. Partly because I'm going through my annual photographic identity crisis but also because I didn't want to give myself anything to do, even editing photos. (although I think I'm starting to come out of the haze.) But here's some favorites from my phone that pretty much sum up the past month. 

First, here is a photo comparison of my girls at birth in the hospital- June being the first photo and the second one Hazel.

June loves to hold her baby sister

I love to hold her too. :)

Sleeping is always good (and rare)

The pets have handled the adjustment well...

We have watched a lot of movies

Whenever Hazel gets fussy, June says things like "It's okay, I'm here," or, "It's okay, mom's got you." and she will hold her hand. So far June hasn't had any huge adjustment issues and it's been a blessing. Every morning she wakes up she asks, "Where's my baby sister?" She's the best.

June can get restless, however, being couped up with us all day. Her naps have become inconsistent and so when June doesn't sleep, nobody naps...

       No nap day                                     ///                  A glorious nap day

He's a good dad

The girls

 Here are a few random photos of June's adventures with other people.

Swimming with nana and pops---     Her eye patch from the pirate birthday party she went to

At the bounce house with her friend Elora

The only thing we do to "leave the house" together: go in the yard and swing

It's crazy to think that I have two daughters now and to look back on the choices I made that got me to this point. I feel calm and peaceful (cue baby crying... ha)

*ahem*

I feel calm and peaceful most of the time ;)

I'm grateful for this time to just BE here and for all the people who have made that possible. I AM excited to leave the house though... just a couple more weeks! And until then you will find me doing lots of this:

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

This holiday seems to come at a time when I'm feeling burnt out for one reason or another. I think the reason this year is pretty obvious... however, I really like St. Patrick's day because for me it holds no religious ties. Maybe that sounds weird but with times like Christmas and Easter there can be so much pressure and judgement passed on how spiritual you are about your celebrations. You have an elf on your shelf? You call it an Easter basket and tell your kids about Santa and a bunny? SINNER. But St. Patrick's day? It's like, whatever- you're not wearing green? The worst that can happen is getting a good pinch.

And our festivities have been mild this green day. We had a green breakfast and we are wearing green things and I showed June a bunch of videos on YouTube about leprechauns while giving her chocolate gold coins, but other than that... all we have left is the leprechaun that I got at the dollar store, which has proved to be a good friend for June.

 

Oh. And Erin was in town this weekend and got to be here for a little bit to celebrate today also. But more on that later. 

 

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!

"She was not of age but for all time"

On Sunday I escaped for a spell and I went to the lake. I watched the small gentle waves and rolled the crystal like ice around in my palms. I stared at the snowy mountains. I found myself longing to be young again. Maybe that sounds strange since I'm only 28 but for a while now I haven't felt "young." Having been pregnant and now house bound and recovering from giving birth all while trying to adjust to this new two kid life has left me more tired than I have ever been and some days my body feels 80 years old.

I wanted in that moment to be young in an endless summer. Going to camps, breathing in the air and flirting and never knowing what each day may bring. Seeing the lake, standing on mountains. Have I really given my youth all that I could? It's a scary thing to ask yourself since there is no going back.

Maybe Buck turning 30 and knowing that my time is also coming soon got me all pensive. Perhaps it's that I am feeling lonely in my house, unable to really leave it- yet everyone else keeps moving along with their normal lives. It's hard for me to think rationally all the time. Sitting around for weeks makes me feel like maybe I am wasting away the last remaining drops of my youth. 

But then I was able to remind myself that I have the decision of how long I will remain "young." Old French proverbs and quotes started waltzing through my brain.

"It takes a long time to become young." Said Pablo Picasso.

And guess what? I get to choose! To remain young doesn't mean an endless childhood, but it does mean that it's all in my mind and attitude. That sense of adventure- seeing the whole world as a gallery of art. Fresh air- there will always be more to find and to deeply breathe in. Wrinkles don't have to define my age. My spirit can decide. And I decide to stay young forever.

(This time of year there is an event called "the lake thaw."

That mound that appears to be snow is actually

thousands of icy spears that shatter apart like glass.

It's breath taking and strangely theraputic

to break up the ice in your hands.)

--> If the video doesn't work from the play button try pressing your space bar <--

(All photos from phone camera)

Saying Good Bye to Buck's Roaring 20's

Those of you who know me or have been following my blog know that I love to throw parties. So despite the crazy timing of Buck's birthday this year (with having a baby and all) I was determined to give him a great party since he was turning the big 3-0. In fact, I started having ideas for his 30th birthday a couple years ago! Once I got pregnant and realized how limited I could be, I started planning his party in January so that no matter what happened, I would be ready. So while I look insane for throwing a party two weeks after a baby, just know that I already had everything here and ready before I even had Hazel. And then I had some help too of course.

So. For his special new decade I decided to do a theme of "saying good bye to Buck's roaring 20's" and the party was themed 1920's. I saw this idea once and knew it had to happen.

And now you're thinking I'm crazy to have this post up already. Wanna know the secret? Two things
1) Being banished to my house for 6-8 weeks in rainy weather
2) And doing a horrible job of taking very many photos of the party.

So without further adieu, I invite you all now to our party:

This photo is before I put the food on the table. But just imagine: gold plates, forks, and napkins, little bottles of sparkling cider and candy cigarettes. And then I had caesar salad (because it was invented in the 20's,) fruit cocktail cups (because they had those a lot back then, especially with grapes since making wine was banned,) and mini sliders and hot dogs (because I thought that would be filling and Buck loves those and hey, baseball was big in the 20's right?)

Anyway...

A super crafty (not) lay out of Buck's roaring 20's and what he accomplished

It was like a regular old speak easy in our kitchen

Buck had no idea until the day of what this party theme was going to be, so I had an outfit all ready for him.

We kept the guest list small since we have a newborn in the house so don't feel bad if you weren't there.

I did a little bar tending. A secret talent of mine

And then everyone played card games. One of Buck's favorite things to do.

This photo is all blurry but it is so funny to me- Alicia with her candy cig

 Then for the big surprise of the night. I had a life goal to jump out of a cake so a long time ago I decided this would be best on his 30th birthday. Why not?

Building a cake to jump out of is expensive and construction intensive so I was lucky to find a slightly over priced kit to assemble instead. 

The cake. (hahahaha)

My friend helped me set it up in the kitchen while Buck was distracted in the living room playing games. When the time came I got in it and then my friends lit his birthday cake candles and he came in while everyone started singing. And at the end of the song BOOM. Out I came. Now, for some reason I came out first with a fist pump into the air. hahaha I can't stop laughing about it. I don't know what I was thinking. And I the photos are a little crazy because I gave the photographing task to my poor cousin who had never dealt with a speed light flash before.  But whatever, we documented it somehow.

 Then June wanted a turn popping out of the cake

And Buck was completely surprised. 

I think he liked it.

Click these links if you want to see

 Buck's Birthday's since we've been together:

2010

2011

2012

2013