So I got this cold. It started in my sinuses and wrapped it's way around my head and into my nasal passage with two large plugs. I couldn't tell you if it gave me a fever or not because I've had one of those for 5 months now. This seemingly small annoyance came in the midst of Buck being out of town the other week, but it was kind enough to stick around for when he got home.
His second night home he was awoken to me crying in the bathroom at 2:00 a.m.
He comes in all bewildered and half asleep.
"I can't breathe!" I sob, the tears making my nose a completely impassable road to let air through. I begin to choke and the panic hits a code blue as I begin to clog up my throat as well.
"I know this is silly! I know it's not like I have cancer or something! But I can't take it anymore! And it doesn't matter if I get better! Someone else is going to be sick and get us sick over and over again all winter! It will never end! I CAN'T BREATHE!!!"
It should be mentioned now that I don't cry very often. Not for a good decade anyways. Even when I want to I usually refuse. I have this strange logic- I want to make sure that when I DO cry that Buck or whoever knows it must be a big deal. Kind of like I don't want to be "crying wolf" too much you know? I want my tears to be a red flag. Yet there I was wasting all those dry years on some excess mucus.
Buck finally calmed me down and somehow I lived through that night.
Then the very next night at 12:00 a.m. I have another melt down.
"I can't BREATHE!!!!" I begin to wail again, and off I go listing 25 different reasons for me to be upset.
"Why are you bringing in a bunch of other things to cry about?" Buck was tired. And a man.
"I didn't bring them, they are already here!"
"Go take a hot shower?" he suggests.
"That's too much effort! I'm just not going to bed tonight!" and away I go into the living room, like somehow staying up all night is less effort than a shower....
One prescription and near drowning nasal rinse later I am healed. And feeling ridiculous.
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The other day I am driving on the freeway. I see there has been an accident and they are in the process of cleaning it up. I see one of the cars is smashed in the back. It was pretty clear that it wasn't fatal, but also a definite day ruiner. Suddenly I found myself starting to cry. WHAT ON EARTH?!
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People. HELP. These pregnancy hormones are making me a real basket case! These are only a couple stories of my wild emotions and dramatics (and you've already read another one). And I fear that soon I will drive Buck to the mad house as well. I don't remember feeling this irrational when I was pregnant with June, although after I had her it was about 1000x worse than this- which makes me SUPER nervous. I mean, if it's already this bad then what will I be like postpartum? *shudder
5 comments:
I would start crying if I couldn't breathe too! That's scary...and you know that you and me both only cry in dark alleys when creepy Armenian boys are chasing and terrorizing us and cute tatiks ditch us!
Ps...I've been a whole lot more emotional this time around too!
No wonder you did not want to hang out this week ;)
Hang in there, Anna! Pregnancy (and post partum) is so fun, huh?
This made me giggle, sorry friend. I cry over mean girls you cry over mucus haha. Horray for pregnancy!;)
It's not enough to sacrifice our bodies, they have to take our minds too!! At least one of those heals eventually...which one...I won't presume to predict...
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