Baby Johnny Buck- A Birth Story

Underneath a smoky red and ash peppered sun, I wandered into what would be my last maternity check up. I was only 36 weeks pregnant, but we had had complications leading up to it. In fact every pregnancy we've had similar problems- IUGR- or "inter uterine growth restriction." Basically, the placenta starts to not work right, baby stops growing like it should, and then other complications happen such as loss of amniotic fluid, heart rate issues, or other things that can all lead to baby's little body giving up and the heart stopping. So usually they deliver these babies earlier to reduce the risk of that awful outcome.  And for whatever reason, this is the way my body does pregnancy. But thanks to modern medicine I have four healthy kids despite their early arrivals and complications. 

Baby boy had not been growing and fluid was on the lower end but he also gave us some scares with his heart rate dropping during contractions so a few weeks leading up to his birth, I was in and out of the hospital, sometimes staying a whole day or even being there over night. A couple times they feared an emergency c-section. It was all a bit stressful. But thankfully we were able to keep in him longer to grow a little more before making his entrance into this world. 

  So, back to that last appointment. First was the non stress test. I was pretty stressed though because I worried that his little heart would dip but the nurse came in and cheerily announced that it looked perfect and I was good to go! So away I went! Next was my appointment with my doctor. All we did was sit there and talk for three minutes about how Tuesday was the big day for being induced at 37 weeks! And then- there was one last hurdle: The fluid check ultrasound. But his fluid had seemed to be okay, lower but okay, and holding on so what was there to worry about?

But no. The tech hardly found any fluid to count. “Are you sure you can't find anymore?” I implored. I really had it in my mind that Tuesday was the day. It was what I wanted. What I had hoped for weeks ago as problems began to arise. Even months and months ago at the beginning of pregnancy I had cleared my schedule starting after the 37 week mark. It felt right. And as the past month got scary and preterm emergency delivery became a possible reality but then faded away and I got my plan back of making it to 37 weeks, I had become increasingly attached to the idea. And for some reason a few days sooner felt like a world away.

But no. She searched again for me but it was what it was. I knew. She knew. And she lead me to a doctor's open office and sat me down. 20 feet away my doctor makes a phone call, knowing I'm right there listening and watching. “Hi, labor and delivery? Yes, I have a gal here, Anna, yes, you probably remember her from these past few weeks, yes, she will be heading over there today to be induced.” If this would have been my first kid I imagine they would have handled that news a bit more directly and delicately. haha

My doctor then came to me with a sympathetic look in her eyes, “Well, I guess maybe we wont make it till Tuesday...” Obviously. I asked if I had enough time to go get my stuff from home, she agreed, and away I went.

Mostly I wanted to come back and see the girls one more time and make sure any last, quick thing was in order. Buck met me there and then once all was said and done, we headed to the hospital one last time with Buck's saintly mother watching our girls. 

Once we were checked in and in the room, we were assigned our first nurse, an older lady who sensed my anxiety (but isn't every woman a bit anxious) and she sat down and we talked through what the plan was to induce me but to be careful of his heart dropping. Before I knew it I was back in that hospital gown, stuck on a bed, an I.V. Needle in my arm, and my contractions instantly coming in regular. I've been having so many for so long I think it was just ready to be done so the second they started me on a low dose of pictocin, we were on our way.(I'd been having contractions every 15 minutes or more from probably five months straight haha)

I decided to get the epidural sooner than I normally have in the past. I figured, “Why not? Why not be numb for the water breakage with that long croquet hook? Why not get started and if the epidural doesn't work right then we have more time to figure it out, unlike all the other times? Why not get it and take some naps?”

I explained all the problems of the past with my epidurals and my fears about it and then I got jabbed in the back and it was worse than ever before- but worth it! Because it actually ended up working and not wearing off!

So for the most part I could relax. The pain slowly faded away and I was only left with some pressure and I could still move my feet. I did have to press the button a couple times to get more but that was it. I took a couple night time naps. Buck watched The Avengers. I drank some broth and had some flavored Italian ice. It was the calmest labor I'd ever had!

For a few hours anyway. I was dilated to a five at that point. And then Johnny's heart started to drop with each contraction. They lowered the pictocin but it wasn't making a difference. In fact, his heart rate was dropping more and more. We were getting very nervous. The nurse remained calm but who knows what she wasn't telling us about the possible outcomes if his heart kept doing that. One, I knew, was the emergency c-section, and I really really did not want that. But I also did not want his little body to be in such stress and be at risk.

We talked about a few things we would try first. Apparently they can fill your uterus back up with some fluid to help the cord not get smashed. The nurse dressed up a large peanut shaped exercise ball in a hospital gown and had me lay on my side with that in between my numb legs. It had been 20 minutes of fear and anxiety. What would we do? What was going to happen?

But then I felt intense pressure, pressure to push, that something, someone was about to come out of me. I'd never felt that before. In two of my other three deliveries, the epidural wore off, there was a lot of unexpected pain, and then I'd get re-dosed in my back and then I was too numb, right in time to push. With Hazel actually the pain was still there and I was scared because it was too late to do anything but push but I think I was feeling too much pain and fear to focus on that urge to push. I don't know. Either way this was exciting and new. I liked knowing what my body was doing and what it needed- with the added bonus of not feeling all that pain! Epidurals are amazing when they work right!

“Um, I feel like my body is going to push this pressure out on it's own... maybe you should check again even though you just did...” So she did, and of course, his head was right there and it was go time!

The doctor came in, a team of other people ready to help Johnny since he was pre-term, and it was time to push. And four pushes later- there was our son! Screaming and crying! And totally fine and healthy, although super small!

I kind of felt in shock, a good shock. All that fear and anxiety about his heart and his size- building up over a few weeks and especially in the last 20 minutes was just GONE. It was over. He was here and he was breathing and his heart didn't have to deal with contractions ever again! The nurses were all shocked too- everyone thought with his issues and size that he'd be in the NICU for sure. But he never did have to go.

Instead he laid on my chest, skin to skin, and cried, going from a purple baby to a nice pink one. I held him for a long while. Eventually he got weighted and stuff. Just a tiny bit under 5 pounds, so they rounded up to five. 18 inches long. Born at 12:14 am, August 4^th, 2018. 

Johnny Buck Harrison.

(all photos taken by Buck or my in laws! Thank you!)

 Three generations!