2012

I can't get this year change out of my mind.

It’s crazy that it’s a new year. I don’t think I’ve ever thought so much about what the beginning of a new year has meant to me. But this is different. When I look back on last year there is this old piece of me that thinks “that was the most boring year yet! You never even left Idaho or Utah!” You see, this old piece of me measured her years in fiascos, heartbreak, adventures, and spontaneity. And my years held much of those things. Every time.

But then the new me looks back on my year. Wow. I have settled and calmed down. My husband got accepted into and started grad school. We bought our first home together. I did a TON of personal self improvement and hard work on myself. We had a BABY. I had a baby. A family. I packed in so much love and meaning into this year it’s unreal.

Maybe I didn’t leave the country or see the beach but there has never been a more important year yet.

When I look into 2012 it’s also a drastically different view than I’ve had before. I have no plans. No semester of school, no mission, no job, no solid trips, no new baby- nothing. All I can see is wondering how I can get June to sleep better. All I want is as many hours a day with Buck as I can get. I want to see our families. I want good things to happen for my sister. Buck’s siblings too.

It’s time I started measuring my years with different words.

Love

Service

Progress

and

Sacrifice.

So here’s to 2012. May your difference shine and further shape me into a better me. 

And about those New Year's resolutions. I've actually never made them before. See, I have a large list of Life Goals that I actively work on accomplishing (there's like 263 or something and I'm happy to report that I've done a good 60 of them.) But I see that doing my New Year's resolutions as a life goal. I need to  join the masses at least once. Make some work-out and eat-better goals that don't last until February. Make some actual goals that DO stick like spiritual ones. Make some personal ones that spill over from last year. Why not? I've been looking forward to this and actually made my list last month. So I'm ready and have already begun. And watch out because when I make goals that matter to me I do them! (I don't know what you need to "watch out" for, it just seemed like the right thing to write you know?) (Also, I really want to be asleep right now but there's no point because lately June's sleep habits... well, never mind, I wont bother going into those...) 

At any rate,  I guess over all I am so happy with life and where I am at. How could I not be? I have SO MANY blessings. So many that I should spell that word with more S’s. Blesssssssings. It could go on. Buck and I don’t have much money, but yet somehow every night as I go to sleep (when I get to that is) I can only think that I am the richest woman in the world. I feel like I have everything. I realized the other day that that is because I DO have it all. I have true love. Fancy cars and large houses mean nothing to me. I have great family and friends. Then I found Buck and I learned how choosing love leads to living it, breathing it. And just when I didn’t think I could love anymore, my little June Bug came into my life and I found a new love I didn’t even know I had. And I learned that there is always room for more love. 

And I don't say any of that to brag or something. Nor am I saying that you have to be married and have a baby to experience all this love. Everyone can experience peace in their own ways. This just happens to be what's current in my life. But I don't want to make anyone feel bad.

  Also, it bothers me when others make fun of happy people. You can't win, I tell you. Either you're negative and people tell you to be more positive- or you're positive and people tell you to stop being fake and "tell the truth." Good heavens.  Blogs.


ACK! I am tired and rambling. This is never a good combination. Like marshmallows and barbeque sauce. Bad. So I am going to go read this book called "Solve your Child's Sleep Problems" before June's next cry. Peace out- A town.