Happy Three Year Anniversary to US!

Year three.

The first two years, especially that so-called hard first year, have been the best days of my life. But something about this past year was more a little more difficult. We still don't fight, like yell or argue, but we sure had more "discussions" and disagreements. I felt like more of a nagging wife. In the end, as I have analyzed it (because that's what I do) I think that Buck and I have both already changed so much from that day we were married. In so many ways we have changed and grown together, but in other ways we changed in such separate ways. That's okay too, but in the thick of it, it can be hard to understand. This year has been about embracing the changes that are good and going with the flow; but then also taking a look at the ways we have changed for the worst- not everything we were and did needed to go. It's hard to bring back some of those good habits, but I think it's worth every effort.

Maybe I am not making sense. But I am often writing about how wonderful life is and how much I love being married, but I believe that a lot those moments of bliss build from the growing pains. And they are okay to talk about too.

And don't get me wrong. We haven't been over here all depressed and distant, it's been a full year with beauty and laughter as well! After all is said and done, I am grateful to God for the ways He tests us so that we can become stronger. And we come out of it feeling more like soul mates than ever before.

The other day as I was shopping at the grocery store, I saw an elderly couple sitting in the little cafe, eating their ice cream cones in silence, but next to each other. I marveled for a moment at the history and stories that were sitting in those chairs. Such a simple moment. But only possible but so many complex emotions and events. (maybe) Fifty-something years of marriage sitting there. Soft served ice cream. Silence.

 It's impossible to comprehend what 10 years, 20, 30, 50 years of marriage will bring! Who will we become?! What turns are in the fog covered road ahead?! It's fascinating and terrifying!

Year four already promises some crazy times, so, here we go!

And Buck might DIE when he sees that I decided to post this next part, but, I don't know, I just feel like it.

He brought me a simple breakfast in bed this morning before he had to leave for work. And he left with it a little note. And I've decided to share it because it fits this past year so perfectly, and I don't know, but maybe some of you can relate.

"Butterflies" is a silly term

What does it mean?

"Butterflies in my stomach"

does not capture the feeling

Three years

I saw you sitting there

I know you well

I saw you chatting like normal

Laughing like normal

After three years we

Are normal

But still

I smile

my heart quickened

my nerves bolted

my hands sweated

I saw you sitting there

You

My home

my refuge

My safety, yet, my adventure.

I hug you, kiss you

Normal

I'm lucky you know

For normal to be

so exciting

more than just "butterflies."

I love you Buck. Thanks for the sweet letter. 

Here's to THREE million years more!