10 Years!

(Photos in this post are ones we took together

over the past year. Some of them are really funny 

in the middle of more serious words haha 

Hope you enjoy!)

 It's our ten year anniversary! 

(Well, it was back on August 21st. ;)

In some ways, if you were to go back ten years and tell me what would happen, I wouldn't have been surprised. Not because I thought any one particular thing would happen, but because I didn't have any huge expectations- the future felt like such a blank canvas and all I expected was, well, anything! But then again, if you would have told me that we'd be celebrating our ten years together with SIX kids under our roof, I maybe, just maybe, wouldn't have believed that part. 😂

Perhaps I've said this before already, but I'll say it again: getting married was the most unsure and scariest thing I've ever done. It seemed like most couples that marry in my religion all have these huge spiritual moments where God confirms to them that they are making the right choice. I was entirely too anxious to have any such parting of the heavens. 

Instead I took my free agency and followed what felt real underneath all my fears- that I felt at home next to Buck. In some unexplainable way there was this force that brought us together and no matter my attempts, kept bringing us back. An "immortal pull" is the way I think I once described it. My mind kept telling me "NO!" and I even picked out a playlist of sad songs I was going to listen to when we broke up but yet.... I couldn't stay away from him. 

And what was there to be so afraid of anyway?! Right? I had my reasons, I suppose, after dating some real scum bags. I figured that in the end all men probably were the same (except for my dad- hi dad!) And it seemed that people just always got divorced or ended up living in unhappy unions. Several of my friends that got married before me recounted their tales of how it was very hard and so deep down I kind of planned on just roaming the world by my lonesome. 

But the second I committed to time and all eternity with Buck over that alter in the temple, everything changed. I had done it, I was in it for the long haul. I could finally let me fears rest. And I felt SO MUCH PEACE. 💛

I had asked a lot of friends what surprised them most after getting married and I got responses such as "How messy he is" or "how awful sex really is" or "communication is hard." But when it was my turn to ask myself the same question I was happily surprised to answer, "That I am so HAPPY." 

I don't mean to sound self righteous by saying that either. I just heard that the first year was the hardest and that was so far from the truth for me. But hey, we've had ten years together now and I've also learned how messy Buck is, how difficult sex can be at times, or had hard times communicating FOR SURE. I think God just knew that I needed that first reassurance that I was right where I was always meant to be. 

And to be honest, marriage has not been some super hard trial. Yes, it takes hard work and we've had our fights and misunderstandings but over all its been the best thing that's ever happened to me and nothing but a blessing and over all joy. 

Most of that credit goes to Buck. He's been so amazing through the years. So giving and selfless and kind. He's smart, hard working, patient, silly, resourceful, present, giving, faithful, and strong. He puts kids to bed and changes diapers, he puts up with my Halloween costumes, he never complains when all we have is cereal for dinner, and He is devoted to God and to us. It's no secret why I've been so happy. 😊

So Happy Ten Years to us!