(photos in this post were
taken over time,
a few months ago!)
Most of my days pass by slower than my posts show. Especially lately, it may appear that I spend all my waking hours celebrating major and non-major holidays. 😂 People have been commenting to me lately about how I must be a "super-mom" or the "best mom" and I suppose if picking up trash on Earth day qualifies me for a gold medal then I'll take it! But in all reality the only reason you only see posts of the good, happy, and decorated moments is because I don't have time to post about anything else. I am barely getting those posts in!
And in case anyone ever feels bad after reading my blog, I just wanted to let you know that behind it all I don't have my crap together either! I'm suppose to give Hazel medicine every day and I don't. I bought some plants to plant in my yard and I never did and now they are dead in their plastic containers on the patio. I am a normal person with dirty dishes constantly in my sink and laundry that needs to be done or folded. The kids' bedrooms are a constant mess and not decorated in any which way. June hasn't done her homework 90% of this school year because that homework was dependent on me doing it with her.
I have no cleaning schedule and mop only once the situation is dire. Our closets and drawers are an unorganized nightmare. June never practices her piano. We are the MOST inconsistent parents on the planet with chores and allowances. I get Hazel to preschool late EVERY SINGLE DAY. In fact I think I get us ALL late to everywhere we are going every single day.
I always have grand plans to read books to my kids or to play board games or do crafts. But then I'm too busy going around like a chicken with my head cut off that those things get left undone. We don't get our scriptures in every day. And good heavens, my kids are not bathed every day. Or even every other day. (much like the mopping, baths happen when the situation is dire...) And, one of my personal favorites, I still haven't gone through June's backpack from LAST YEAR that she brought home on the last day of school packed with papers and projects. It's just sitting up on a shelf.
The list could go on and on and honestly, some days I get hyper focused on it all and I feel like SUCH a failure and it gets me down. But more recently I've been focusing on the good that I do because that feels better and more right. Not that I should ignore problems and never try to improve myself, because I should and I do try!
But lately I've been doing this new thing when I'm feeling overwhelmed. I take a step back from the chaos and I ask myself an honest question: Am I doing the best that I can? Am I doing all that I can do and trying my very hardest? And a lot of the times the answer is "YES!" and when I can answer that to myself I feel a peace and calm cover me up and I know that those efforts of mine will be enough and that God will fill in where I lack. And if I can't answer with a "yes" then I ask myself why and what needs to be done to improve, and usually those things are totally doable and so I work on it.
And in the mean time- I blog about holidays and celebrations. ;)
4 comments:
The amazing thing about the spirit and our heavenly father is that if we stop and ask ourselves how we are doing and ask the question in a way that is not criticizing ourselves our heavenly father always answers softly and kindly. And that is kind of what’s happening with you. You don’t feel a rebuke on those days where you know maybe you can do better but you come up with solutions on how you can do a little better and you still feel that your heavenly father loves you and that’s how our heavenly father works. Somehow we feel his love when we don’t judge ourselves to harshly or judge ourselves the wrong way and through his love we feel a gentle nudge or push to do a little better. He knows you are working hard and He knows you are trying to do your best no matter what the circumstances are and he would never want you to feel that you are not loved and He would want you to know you really are OK where you are at. But from there he knows we can always improve and he will gently lead us along that path. Love your thoughts.
This is a wonderful post! I'm cracking up about the backpack! That was a really busy time for you guys! haha. I'm pretty sure it took me about a year to empty my hospital bag after Edwin was born!
I have so many damn "backpacks". (I just swore 🙊)
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