Of course I have commitment issues. You would too, if you were me.
A) I’m a yellow personality type. As bright and buttery as the sun. Meaning: I’m flighty and spontaneous and hate responsibility. I’m a bird that cannot be caged. I need a relationship more like the sky- endless and free, ever changing- windy and sunny with skyscraper clouds; colorful- sometimes dark, sometimes bright. When dark it’s packed with stars. But yet, it’s one of the most consistent things we have. And mostly- it’s blue. (Blue being a loyal personality type. Noted for their dedication and strong relationships)
They Sky never falls. You must fly to be in it.
Which brings me to point
B) I’ve only ever been in cagey, weird, and dysfunctional relationships. (until recently.) (even then it’s been anything but normal.) Always with boys who carried around a suitcase full of issues wherever they went. Then I would come along and they’d be like, “Here. Hold my suitcase full of issues for me while I go and kiss other girls.” And I would. But seeing as I have no upper body strength I just couldn’t hold it all (call me crazy) as they packed away the heavy items of DISTRUST and LIES. In the end we’d both part ways somehow worse people then we were before we started.
Therefore
C) Commitment=ed Pain and digression. In the end I felt caged in my confused emotions and I didn’t really see the point of letting someone who didn’t deserve me think that he did.
Commitment=ed waste of time
But now here I am. More committed than I’ve ever been. I’ve handled it by ignoring all my guy friends that I kept around to validate myself. (not all my guy friends were for that- I keep the good ones around) I find myself spending all my time with him now. But that’s how I want it. His attention is more than enough.
I wont lie, it hasn’t always been so functional- which is why I’m surprised at how wonderful it is now. There were many times I was sure it was doomed. Yet here we are- wanting the things we do-
Who knew?
Commitment=’s BEAUTY
1 comment:
I love how well you know yourself and how it leads you to appreciate your own growth and change and you can recognize the things in your life that are right.
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