August 8, 2008- Nauvoo Illinois-
Today. What did we do today? We saw a play. We learned how to make bricks and horse shoes. We ate way too much food. We went to Joseph Smith’s home. We read quotes from the pioneers. Oh, we got to see a sunset over the Mississippi River.
During the day I became bored with my thoughts. Then I became appalled. What on earth am I wasting my brain on?! I think so much about not wasting my time in life but today I saw my thoughts as precious as each second on the clock. I repeat so many of the same thoughts. So often they are selfish. More often they are about boys. Boys that I don’t even really care that much about. My mind could be used as such a means of discovery and adventure. Just think of the things that I could think of! And to waste it on some boring ole boys. Bah. Sick. It’s like taking a clean canvas and knocking the paint on the ground. Then taking cheap dollar store stickers and haphazardly sticking them to the paper. Weird analogy I know, but it’s just what came to me.
I felt so tired and listless just thinking about thinking about what I’d been thinking about.
So. I stopped the madness. Repented. A little. And tried harder. First thing I did was think more about my pioneer ancestors. We were walking in the last waves of the sunset down a path lined with quotes from the pioneers. My great aunt said, “you should really stop and count just how many relatives you had here. You have a rich family history.” I imagined them standing around right then, watching us. Is it really just as hard to walk away from our temptations of the world now as it was for them to leave their homes? How did they get through that winter? Why does God even think that winter is a good idea?! Is it just His biggest most symbolic way to teach us about opposition? Are my ancestors proud of me? I can’t wait to become best friends with them after this part of life.
My mind was already illuminating. My thoughts were zipping around like the fireflies who were mingling with the stars. Brilliant.
3 comments:
I like what you said about winter! Why is it a good idea? I think you are right, though--it's great symbolism! I always think about renewal, repentance, and a chance to start a new life in the spring. I think it's good to be reminded of those things every year. No matter how long and hard the winter is, spring always comes eventually!
I laughed until a little pee came out when I read this line..
"Why does God even think Winter is a good idea."
Could you prepare me a little better next time you're going to do that to me?
I've never thought about becoming best friends with my ancestors before, but for a second i could imagine, maybe someone before me was a whole lot like me....I desperately want to ponder this possibility now!
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